


The Weight of The Stone

by orphan_account



Category: Pink Floyd
Genre: Fluff, M/M, relationship therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:07:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23210689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Roger and David have been having issues ever since Roger made the mistake of cheating on David in 1976. Now, Roger must write a letter to David about how he is sorry. The hardest part of all being, he will have to read it to David during their therapy session.(This story is set around July of 1976).
Relationships: David Gilmour/Roger Waters
Kudos: 17





	The Weight of The Stone

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoy! slight depression and self hatred TW.

Roger had been attending relationship counseling with David for a month now. It seemed to be helping them; a little. Ever since Roger had made the ill and on-the-whim mistake of cheating on David—whilst completely black out drunk—nothing was the same. He felt an immense amount of guilt, and he tried his best to communicate that to Dave. Roger decided that he was going to write a letter to David, this way he could be one-hundred-percent honest. 

This letter forced him to really get in touch with his kind side, his side that he didn’t always enjoy showing. He hated being vulnerable more than anything in the world. The idea of exposing his true feelings and raw emotion for everyone to see was frightening, but he was breaking the chains of this fear even in his lyrics. 

Roger sighed and looked down at the blank piece of notebook paper. He had a pen ready to go whenever his mind would allow him to write his feelings. All the letter said so far was, “Dear David Gilmour.” 

The first phrase that truly popped into his mind was, “I’ll be as vulnerable as I possibly can if it means our relationship will sweeten again.” He smiled softly to himself, making this small progress felt amazing. So, he wrote it down. 

Then, he thought about how guilty he felt about the whole thing. He realized how he would feel if Dave cheated on him, he realized that he probably couldn’t live if that was the case. He thanked the universe for making David a strong person. 

Roger started to dwell on the past a bit, thinking of their first date. He knew this was irrelevant so he didn’t write it down, but his face reddened, and he smiled happily to himself. He shook his head and got back to the letter.

He began to write, “If you did this to me..”, he cursed softly and scratched it out. He could not be thinking of himself right now, this needed to be about making it up to David, not bathing in self pity.

“I know that if this situation were the other way around, I would feel awful. I cannot imagine how painful this is for you. Please know that I truly feel guilty.” Roger was making progress, he was happy with himself for being able to get some sentences down. 

He started to get more zoned in to his writing, he was communicating his feelings correctly. Everything was coming out how it should. He began to doubt himself near the end, realizing he could never uphold this empathy in real life, but, he would try his best if it meant David would be happy. 

After getting himself back on track, he had finished the letter. He decided he wanted to read it out-loud to himself, since he would have to read it for David anyways.

He breathed in and out, his stomach getting butterflies. He was afraid he might cry.

“Dear David Gilmour. I’ll be as vulnerable as I possibly can if it means our relationship will sweeten again.” “I know that if this situation were the other way around, I would feel awful. I cannot imagine how painful this is for you. Please know that I truly feel guilty.” He paused for a short moment so he wouldn’t cry.

“It doesn’t matter if I was drunk, high, or sober—whatever— it was wrong. It was wrong because not only did I betray your trust and put our relationship in limbo, I put your emotional stability at a huge risk. I know what it’s like to be hurt, and it’s not right for me to hurt you. You are a good person, a very good person, who has done many good things for me. You have given me unconditional love when I acted out, and acted unworthy of your love. I yell at you sometimes, and I get angry easily. This isn’t okay, I hope you know that I realize-“ Roger paused, tears starting to well in his eyes, a monsoon of guilt washed over him.

“I hope you know that I realize how wrong I am. What I have done to you; is something you will never forget. It’s my fault that this will forever be a stain on your heart.” Roger broke down into tears, he put the letter down and buried his face into his shaky palms. His body shook with every sob that came out of him, he felt so horrible for what he had done to his partner.

He pulled himself together after a couple more sobs, he had to finish this. He grabbed the letter off the table, shaking as he did so, and began to read again. “I am truly sorry, I am truly guilty, and I truly love you. No matter what happens to us, I will always love you. I promise to be there for you in the years to come, in any way that I can. From, Roger.” 

Roger had a straight smile on his face, tears quietly rolled down his cheeks. His face was red, he was embarrassed because of the vulnerability and honesty, but it had to be done, he had to show David he really did love him.

Their therapy session was scheduled for 2pm, it being 1:20pm, Roger got his things and left. He took with him his keys, wallet, and made sure not to forget his letter.

David and him had decided it would be best if for now they lived separate, and only had scheduled meetings or dates, like a new relationship would be. This being the case, they both drove to the sessions without the other. Roger arrived and shut off his car, sighing and leaning back into the chair, he almost wanted to leave. He knew this was selfish, but he desperately wanted to give one final sabotage and be done with the whole lot. He decided against this when he saw David pulling in, he got out of his car and waited for Dave.

David didn’t even notice at first, but after stepping out of his car he noticed Roger leaning against his fancy expensive car. “Oh, Hi Rog’, you scared me a bit.” David laughed softly, trying to ease the mood, these sessions never came easy. 

“I’m sorry.” Roger quietly said, he wasn’t feeling sarcastic or funny, just guilty.

They walked in the office with each other, not saying anything except muttering about the nice weather. It was nice that they could do this and not even worry about getting recognized, due to their declining of interviews and publicity shoots.

They sat down in two uncomfortable wooden chairs and made small talk, not mentioning anything significant. Roger couldn’t stop staring at David’s lips though. They were so beautiful, so lustful, but so passionate and soft at the same time. He did miss those lips, maybe this letter could grant them back into his life.

“David and Roger for 2 o’ clock.” The therapist spoke, standing in front of a door that led to the few rooms along a narrow hallway. They both stood up and walked over to the door, entering and then being led to the room where the session would take place. 

Their therapists name was Dr.Shelley. She was very kind, and patient. She learned a lot about each of them through some private, and group sessions. She knew their weaknesses and strengths, and also knew that their relationship was being held together by a tiny thread. That thread being made of their fear of being without the other.

“So, Roger, last time we spoke I advised you to write a letter to David. Do you have this letter with you today?” Roger wanted to fudge and say he left it at home. Just drive away, never come back, leave everything behind. He felt David looking at him wearily, this motivated him to tell the truth. “Yes, It’s right here.” He said, whilst fishing in his back pocket to retrieve the slightly crumbled and badly folded letter.

“If you are comfortable, I think it would be best for you to read this now aloud, for David.” Dr.Shelley said. Rogers heart quickened, his breath was pacing. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack. “Breathe, it’s okay.” David spoke softly to him. Roger looked at David with surprise, but nonetheless this made him feel more calm. “Okay. Let me just-“, he unfolded the letter and prepared himself to read.

He took a deep breath in and out, and began. “Dear David Gilmour.” He spoke, words coming out shakily from the nerves.

David listened very carefully and well to Rogers words, he took them in deeply. He really wanted to understand Roger, he wanted to know if he even felt any guilt for what he had done.

David had spent his days since the semi-breakup doing nothing but pondering on the past, drinking too much, and worrying about Roger. He knew Roger was more fragile than he appeared, and this kept him up until the late hours of the night sometimes. He just wanted to call him, he wanted to hear his soft velvet voice. He wanted to feel everything bad wash away at the sound of Rogers “Hello.” He wasn’t able to do this though, as they were not exactly on normal speaking terms.

Roger began to cry when he read one of the last sentences. “It’s my fault that this will forever be a stain on your heart.” He was sobbing as loudly as he had the first time he read it. He hated himself for crying, this only made him feel worse. David desperately wanted to comfort him, but all he could do was let a tear of sympathy roll down his cheek in silence. He had to let Roger get through the reading without his support.

Roger came out of it again, and finished the letter. “I am truly sorry, I am truly guilty, and I truly love you. No matter what happens to us, I will always love you. I promise to be there for you in the years to come, in any way that I can. From, Roger.” Roger had the same look as he did earlier, and he cleared his throat, waiting for someone else to speak. 

Dr.Shelley spoke, “Very brave of you Roger. David, what would you like to say to Roger now?” David wiped his sympathetic tears away, and kept staring straight down at his feet.

“Thank you Roger, for the letter.” He said, voice sounding sleepy from the light crying he had done. “I want to say that I-“ His eyes welled with tears, the flood gates would surely break if he spoke. “I forgive you Roger.” David spoke, truthfully and almost happily.

David broke down into tears, grabbing a tissue and holding it up to his face. He hated crying like this, but he wasn’t even worried about the tears. He was so glad that Roger had wrote that. It was so genuine, he felt that Roger had truly felt guilty of his actions and wanted to change.

Roger smiled very softly, and tears streamed down his cheeks now without a sound. He decided wrapping his arm around David couldn’t be so bad, so he did so. He loved the feeling of his warmth radiating under him. David gave in to Rogers comfort, and faced him, now placing his head on his shoulder. David wept on his shoulder, arms still by his side, and Roger now took both arms and tightly hugged him.

David eventually had the strength to hug Roger back, tightly wrapping his arms around him. They embraced sweetly in each other’s arms, nothing could break their love for each other now.

After both of them had let out their final tears, they broke the embrace. “That’s amazing, for both of you. I think we’re done for today then.” She smiled proudly at them. “This doesn’t mean the end of therapy, let’s still do the same time every week and see how things go, I can promise you won’t want to go along this journey by yourselves, or things might turn for the worst again.” She said, trying to look out for them. 

Roger and David nodded and smiled, “2 o’ clock Dr.Shelley.” David said. She led them out of the room and they were checked out at the front desk.

They both walked out, not saying any words. Just hearts feeling full, and smiles on both of their faces. After slowly walking towards their cars, they were now about to walk away from each other. David spoke up, “Wanna go see a movie tonight? Like old times?” Roger giggled a little bit and smiled wide, “I’d love to.”


End file.
